Have you ever unintentionally broken the law?

Yes. And apparently, a hamburger counts.

I got pulled over once for distracted driving, and I was genuinely confused. I wasn’t on my phone, I wasn’t speeding, and I wasn’t doing anything reckless.

I was just eating a hamburger.

When the officer walked up to my window, he asked, “Do you know why I pulled you over?”

My mouth was completely full.

I just sat there staring at him, chewing, holding the hamburger like it was innocent and had nothing to do with any of this.

After I swallowed, I said, “No.”

He nodded toward my hand. “That.”

I had no idea eating while driving was considered distracted driving. In my mind, I was being efficient. Handling life.

And because I clearly make excellent decisions under pressure, I offered him a bite.

He paused. Looked at me. Looked at the hamburger.

He declined.

I’m still not sure if it was because of the law… or because I had already taken a bite.

Lesson learned.

Now I eat my hamburgers safely. Parked. Alone. Like someone with a criminal past.